By Barrie Golding
Good news everybody! I don’t need to lug around the oxygen tank anymore.
As of the 15th day of May in the year 2014, Buda is gone.
That’s what it says on my death certificate anyway . . . it should say that. I don’t know. I didn’t double-check it. I was kind of busy being dead.
I hope that I’m dead, considering what is being done to me. By far it is the worst abuse that my body has suffered.
And, boy, did I ever abuse it. I guess it all started when I was about 10 and my father warned me that I would go blind if I didn’t stop. Sure enough, I pushed my luck (or pulled it?) until I needed to wear thick glasses.
Life has been good to me. I have only one regret — being dead.
All-in-all, though, it’s been a wonderful ride.
Riding along with me and putting up with my crap for the last 52 years was Maggie who has made our bed every single day of our marriage. For that and many other great things as a wife, mother and grandmother, I thank you.
To my kids, Jackie, Russell and Erica, I leave an equal amount of debt.
My grandchildren, Russell Jr., Haley, Briley and Brooklyn — you are God’s reward to me for not having murdered your parents.
I have been a volunteer (or is it voluntold) with many organizations, including the hospital board, figure skating, Friendship Trail, Winterfest, and for the past many years, the Credit Union family. I have enjoyed the opportunity to serve . . . most of the time.
Friends of Buda are invited to join the family to help clear out my booze cupboard at Bridgewater Country Club on Wednesday, May 21 at 2 p.m.
So long everybody. I will remember you all for the rest of my death.
(Mr. Golding arranged to publish this obituary some time ago.)